The Road to Home
by hayleynymphadora
Summary: Cassie and Shelby raised Shelby's daughter Rachel in New York. Life became too much for Shelby, with a young daughter and a hit Broadway show, to handle so she leaves Cassie to take care of Rachel, alone. Years later, Shelby decides she is ready for a family again, but will the girls let her back in?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Defygravity09 and I were given this prompt by AllStarsGirl. We would like to give a huge thank you to her for her amazing prompt and her continuous support. We will be using a lot of her ideas in our story, including the title she gave us. Enjoy!

Cassandra July sat up at the dinner table, eating with her daughter, Rachel. Rachel's other mom, Shelby, was still at "work"—it was Friday night, so Shelby's show she was performing in, (currently she had been working in Chicago as Velma Kelly), was supposed to last its usual time. This meant Shelby wouldn't be home till around 8:30, maybe even 9 o'clock. However, there wasn't a doubt in Cassandra's mind that Shelby would likely go to Sardi's with her cast members afterwards. 8 shows a week was hard on the entire family, but it was routine by now—they all just went with the flow.

Rachel dipped her French fries in ketchup, getting the red tomato sauce all over her face. She giggled, "Look, mama!" she grinned, reaching out for a napkin.

Cassie beat her to it with an amused expression. "I see that, Rachie. My little mess maker." She wiped off Rachel's face. The eight year old was always so full of life and easily amused. Cass glanced up at the clock and sighed, doubting Shelby would make it home at a decent time. She never really did.

Rachel's long brown hair (she got it from Shelby), was trying to mix in with her food. With a small smile, Cassandra got out of her seat and walked over towards Rach, pulling a hair tie off her wrist and pulling Rach's hair into a quick dancer's bun.

"Mama…" Rachel complained, squirming—she hated putting her hair up. Like her brunette mother, she'd rather keep it down and flowing over her shoulders.

"Hold still, munchkin," Cassandra said, finishing the bun. She placed a kiss on the back of Rachel's head. "There. Didn't want your hair covered in ketchup, did you? Now, finish your dinner…"

Rachel took another bite of her veggie burger—Shelby had insisted on raising her to be vegetarian, claiming it was healthy and necessary. Cassandra had always scoffed, because neither she nor Shelby were vegetarian themselves, but agreed to go along with it—biologically, Rachel was only truly Shelby's daughter, so Shelby was allowed to make those kinds of decisions.

"Is mommy gonna sing me to sleep tonight?" Rach asked, her mouth full of burger. Shelby would have scolded the young girl for speaking with her mouth full, but Cass was easier going.

"I'm not sure, Rach." Cassie glanced at the clock again—it was already 7:30. "Mommy might be too tired…You know she has to rest her voice…"

Rachel swallowed her bite, yawned, and sighed dramatically.

"That's what you said _last_ night."

"I know, Rach."

_And the night before,_ Cassandra thought bitterly. She felt horrible for having to tell this to Rachel again. She hated that Shelby was never home to spend time with them. When Shelby was in Wicked, and even during her run as Maria in West Side Story, Cass could take Rachel to the shows once a week—something everyone enjoyed. But Cassandra and Shelby both agreed that Chicago was too risqué to expose to an eight year old. On opening night, they had Rachel's "Aunt" Holly Holiday watch Rach for the night so Cass could see Shelby. Cassandra had been immediately seduced and was a bit upset that she wouldn't be able to see something like _that_ every night, (Shelby Corcoran in a sexy Velma Kelly outfit and dancing like that was DEFINITELY something she always wanted to see). But staying at home with Rachel was worth it. If only Shelby seemed to think the same thing.

After dinner, Cass did dishes and watched Funny Girl with Rachel (it was Rach's favorite movie—a distraction until Shelby got home). Rach happily sat in Cassandra's lap and Cass braided and unbraided her hair while the little girl sang "Don't Rain on My Parade" with gusto. She might have been young, but she was already a star—always in tune and wonderfully theatrical. Shelby gave her singing lessons and Cass taught her dance.

Just as the song was ending, the front door opened and Shelby walked through it, throwing her keys and purse on the counter and ripping off her heels. She walked over to Cass and pecked her on the lips before kissing Rachel's forehead. Excitedly, Rachel latched on to Shelby's neck and Shelby picked her up.

"Mommy!"

"Hey, Baby girl. I'm sorry I'm late again baby."

"It's okay," Cassandra lied, pretending to be interested in Funny Girl—as if she hadn't been forced to watch it every day.

"Baby," Shelby said softly, sitting down next to her and kissing her cheek. "I really am sorry, baby. I'll make it up to you," she slid a suggestive hand up her "wife's" leg. Cass shivered, willing her body not to react to the motion. It did anyways. She crossed her arms and her legs, flicking the movie off, and not saying a word. After a minute of Shelby's staring, Cassandra said,

"Go tuck our daughter into bed," she reached her arms out to Rachel. "Come kiss me goodnight, Rachie."

Rachel squealed with delight as Cassandra pulled her into her arms and showered her with hugs and kisses. "I love love love love love you!" Cassie told her.

Rachel giggled. "I love you more, mama!"

"Nobody loves anybody more than I love you, my Rachel," Cassie promised her.

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!" Cassie laughed and handed her off to Shelby. "Go to bed, munchkin,"

"Okay!"

Shelby's gaze never left Cassie's as she walked to Rachel's room. "We'll talk," she promised the blonde.

"Yeah," Cass whispered, walking towards the kitchen to take Rachel's cup of water to the sink. After about fifteen minutes, Shelby met Cassandra in the kitchen.

"We didn't go out or anything, but I had to stay after and go to a meeting…"

"There's always something, isn't there?"

"Baby, come on," Shelby's dazzling green eyes turned soft as she wrapped her arms around Cassandra's waist. Shivers went down Cass's spine at Shelby's touch. "Don't be like that, you know I can't help it….come on, come take a shower with me and we can relax…or not…" she raised an eyebrow and placed a tender kiss on Cass's neck. Cassandra let her slip her hands up under her tank top and pull it over Cass's head, exposing the blonde to her. The shirt was thrown on the floor and Cassandra led Shelby to the bathroom. Clothes were lost in haste and a heat of rushed kisses from both women. Cassandra let Shelby distract her with her caresses and kisses and apologies. With her beautiful, sexy body.

They let the hot water cascade down their bodies, mending broken promises. Once their moment of passion was over, they washed each others' bodies. Shelby ran shampoo through Cassandra's long blonde hair.

"I forgive you," Cass whispered.

"I love you," Shelby responded.

"I love you, too." There was a silence. "Rachel really missed you tonight. She's excited about her voice lesson tomorrow."

"Shit, that's right."

Cassandra rolled her eyes, her stomach tightening in anger. What would it be this time? Would Cassandra have to take over the lesson AGAIN? There was only so much about voice that she could teach to Rachel, she wasn't as professional as Shelby.

"What, did you forget about that too?" Cassie spat, turning around to face Shelby and crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, I mean, yes, I did, but it's because I have this photo shoot they want me to do with the cast, and I mean it's scheduled for tomorrow but I can probably pull some strings and—"

"No, no why would you do that when you've worked so hard to get so famous?" Cassandra's voice had so much sarcasm that it practically dripped off of her tongue.

"Baby, relax, okay, it isn't that big of a deal I can change the timing of the photo shoot, and…"

"No, you know what, it IS a big deal, because it's a big deal to RACHEL," Cassandra growled, shoving the shower curtain open and stepping out, wrapping a towel around her body, and exiting the bathroom.

"Cass." Shelby's voice was stern. "CASSANDRA."  
Cassandra ignored her, stomping to their room and drying off, throwing on the first clothes she found—a pair of sweat pants, a different tank top, and an NYU jacket. She heard the water in the bathroom shut off with a slam and Shelby followed closely behind, getting dressed quickly as she spoke.

"Cassie baby please don't let it be like this tonight. I was really hoping to just cuddle with you and hold you and kiss you and everything would be okay. I'll give Rachel her voice lesson tomorrow, I promise I'll spend time with her—"

"I'm SO SORRY things aren't going the way you planned, Shelby," Cassandra definitely did not sound very sorry at all. "See here's the thing—you can't just promise to spend time with Rachel because when you have to be reminded that you were going to spend time with your own daughter, you clearly have a problem."

"Baby, lower your voice, you're going to wake her up…"

"Oh, NOW you care about her?" Cassandra demanded, her hands on her hips. "GO. Go to your damn meeting because you're just going to rush your time with Rachel and she's not going to like it and you'll just be torturing yourself."

"Cassandra, just STOP, okay? I know I'm busy a lot and I know that doing 8 shows a week has been hard."

"HOW Shelby? HOW would you know because you're NEVER home!" Cassandra's hazel eyes widened in anger and pain. She was sick of Shelby ditching her and Rachel to do things with work.

"It pays the bills, Cassie! I don't see YOU working!"

"I'M DOING YOUR JOB. I'M BEING A MOTHER! I'M RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER FOR YOU WHILE YOU BASK IN THE LIMELIGHT."

"YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE. Someone had to have a job, you can't blame ME just because you fucked up and turned into Crazy July. Don't blame ME because no show will take you."

"I'm blaming YOU because you're a horrible mother! All you've ever done is put us second. Family is ALWAYS supposed to come first. What don't you get about that?!"

"You know what? I'm DONE. I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do WHAT Shelby?! What the hell were you doing before?!"

Shelby glared, her expression hard as she smacked Cassandra firmly across the face. Shocked, they were interrupted before she could hit her back.

"Mommy?!" Rachel shrieked.

Holding her face, which was slowly turning red, Cassie turned to Rachel, tears forming in her eyes. "Rachel, munchkin, go back to bed, okay? Mama will be right there."

"What's going on? Why is mommy so mad? Why did she hurt you?"

"Rachel baby, please go back to bed," Shelby said softly.

"But—"

"GO TO BED." Shelby said louder.

"Don't you DARE yell at her," Cass turned on Shelby. "You don't have that right," she practically snarled.

"I am her MOTHER," Shelby said, taken aback.

"Oh, are you? And when did you decide to be that?"

"Why are you fighting?" Rachel started to cry. Cassandra rushed over to her and picked her up, holding her close. Rach buried her head into Cassandra's neck and cried. "Shh. It's okay, honey. Mommy and I are just having a disagreement, it'll be okay. Come on, let's get you back into bed…"

She carried Rach to her room, willing herself not to cry. She knew she had to be strong, or she would scare Rachel even more. She thought about calling Holly and having her come over, but she didn't want to bother her so late at night. Besides, she knew that she wasn't done fighting with Shelby—this was the worst they had ever had—and Holly didn't need to experience that.

It scared her, whatever Shelby meant by "I'm done, I can't do this anymore..." did that mean….it couldn't mean…that she was going to leave? Cassandra didn't know if she'd make it if she left.

She tucked Rach back into bed and kissed her forehead, whispering, "I'm really sorry that mommy and I are talking so loud, Rachie. It'll be over soon, okay, I promise? Hold on to your blanket, and if we get to loud just plug your ears and sing Hushabye Mountain, okay?"

Rachel nodded her head. "What's going on?"

"Mommy's just upset because she remembered she has a meeting tomorrow and might not make it to your voice lesson, sweetie…"

"Oh," Rachel's lower lip stuck out. "So why are you fighting about that?"

Cassandra thought for a minute. She really needed to get back to Shelby.

"Because I told mommy to cancel the meeting and she can't. I'll explain more later, okay baby? I have to get back to talking to her…"

"I love you, mama."

"I love you too, Rachie…" she kissed her head again before exiting the room, speed walking back down to her bedroom only to find Shelby throwing her things into her suitcase. Cassandra's eyes watered and she couldn't force the tears back this time. Her stomach tightened into knots that made her want to scream. This was surreal. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. Not tonight. Not ever.

"Shelby babe, what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving. I have to go."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't juggle both, Cassie." She explained, not even bothering to fold her clothes—a first for Shelby, little miss OCD.

"You can't juggle both so you're choosing your career over your DAUGHTER?" Cassandra yelled angrily.

"You've practically raised her anyways, isn't that what you just told me? She doesn't need me, you're always mad at me, this way everyone wins."

"You don't love me enough to stay? You don't love RACHEL enough to try to make things work?"

"HOW?! I NEED Broadway in my life, Cassandra."

"THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET IT."

"I'M DONE DOING THIS WITH YOU. I'M LEAVING. NOW."

"FINE!" Cassandra's tears poured down her face and Shelby bit her tongue, fighting back tears of her own. Her face turned red as she finished her second suitcase, grabbing her coat and putting on her heels. "FINE GO THEN! YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T THE WOMAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH. SHE WOULD'VE WORKEDAS HARD AS SHE HAD TO IN ABLE TO PULL OFF RAISING HER DAUGHTER AND LIVING HER DREAMS BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER WOULD'VE BEEN A PART OF HER DREAMS! YOU'RE SO SELFISH! HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE BROADWAY OVER US? WORK HAS ALWAYS BEEN MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU,"

She continued to yell as Shelby made her way out the door, angrily. She couldn't let herself turn back—she couldn't let Cassandra to see how badly it was hurting her, and she couldn't fight anymore. She was breaking and that was something that Shelby Corcoran never did.

She reached the door and opened it angrily.

"You're not even going to say goodbye to her?" Cassandra said, broken.

Shelby turned around and looked Cassandra in the eye for the first time. Cassie's beautifully strong hazel eyes were pouring with pain that Shelby knew she had created. It killed her to know that she inflicted so much hurt on the people she loved. That's why she knew she had to leave—so she couldn't hurt them anymore.

"I have to come back for the rest of my things eventually. I'll…I'll say goodbye to her then. I'll grant you full custody."

"We're not broken. We can fix this. Please, Shelby, just come to bed."

Shelby's face hardened—she couldn't let Cass know this hurt her to, or Cass would know she had a weakness—she would fight and Shelby wouldn't be able to stop herself from staying.

She just couldn't stay.

She spun around, "Goodbye, Cassandra." And slammed the door.

"NO!" Cassandra stormed after her, screaming, "YOU DON'T GET TO JUST WALK OUT, SHELBY CORCORAN. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE US! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

"GOODBYE, CASSANDRA."

"NO!" she chased Shelby down the street until she couldn't anymore—Shelby was too far gone. Feeling like shattered glass—feeling dead on her feet, and like for the first time she didn't know what to do with herself, she made her way back to her apartment and crawled into her bed, letting the tears fall. She sobbed loudly, a scream emitting her throat. The love of her life had given up. Shelby was gone.

Rachel stood at the doorway of her mothers' bedroom, confused tears falling down her little face. She dragged her favorite blanket behind her—it was fuzzy and white with gold stars. She climbed into bed with Cassandra.

"Mama?" she asked.

Cassandra couldn't breathe long enough to answer her, she just wrapped her arms around her little girl and cried.

"Don't cry, mama. It's okay. You and mommy will kiss and make up like you always do. She'll make breakfast in the morning and we'll have fun in the afternoon, and then she'll kiss us goodbye before she goes to her show!"

She couldn't understand why Cassandra couldn't function. Her mama was shaking violently, terrified and depressed and angry and upset. Tears soaked the pillow she clutched under her face, and she pulled Rachel closer.

For a while, Rachel laid with her. Cassandra's tears didn't stop, and though she knew she was scaring Rachel and needed to stop, she couldn't no matter how hard she tried.

Eventually, Rachel got out of bed and found the home phone in the living room. She dialed her Aunt Holly's number, not realizing how late at night it was.

Holly's cell went off next to her, making her jump and startle her awake. She saw that it was Shelby and Cassie's number and answered it immediately, "What's up, buttercup?"

"Auntie Holly, something's wrong with mama…" Rachel said quietly.

That got Holly's attention immediately and she shot up in her bed, already getting a jacket on and putting on a pair of shoes. "What's wrong with your mama, Rach? What's going on?"

"Mama and Mommy were shouting real loud, then mommy left and now mama won't stop crying…she won't get out of bed…"

_Oh god, no._ Holly thought to herself. _They couldn't have broken up—Shelbs couldn't have left, they loved each other too much…_

"I'll be right there, babe. Give me ten minutes."

"Okay…" Rachel was intelligent, for an eight year old. She knew that Holly would be the only one who would be able to make her mama feel better, if her mommy couldn't do it.

Holly stuck to her promise and let herself into the apartment—she could hear Cassandra's choked sobs from the front door which confirmed her initial thought—it had happened. Shelby had really left. Her poor Cassandra…

She made her way to the bedroom and sat behind Cass, rubbing slow circles on her back. "Hey babe. Shhh. I know, I know it hurts…it'll be okay. We're gonna be okay. You're not going through it alone. Rach and I are both here…"

Rach laid up against Cassie and wrapped her blanket around her mama.

They all sat in silence, listening to Cassandra's broken heart expose itself.

No one knew what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Once again, thanks to AllStarsGirls for the prompt and ideas. Enjoy!**

"Rach, let's get a move on sweet cheeks!" Holly called to Rachel's bedroom. "You're going to be late for your dance lesson!"

Rachel rushed out of her room, running a brush through her hair. "I don't know how mom wakes up so early every morning…"

"It's her job, hun. Your class had to be early today, she has a meeting later on, and you know this so let's go!"

It had been eight years since Shelby left, and they were all doing just fine. Well, they all pretended that they were fine. Cassandra had gotten into a horrible drinking habit that Rachel ignored because it was easier than fighting her about it—that was Holly's argument. Holly was determined to win it one of these days. She had been sober for three days this time—it was definitely an improvement.

No one ever talked about Shelby. Every picture of her had been put in storage, every memory of her was shoved away (at least, no one talked about her. Secretly they all remembered her in their dreams. In Cassandra's case it was nightmares, in Rachel's case it was out of hope and in Holly's it was out of fear—fear she would come back and ruin their system) but they were getting by as best as they could, just like any other oddly dysfunctional family. At least, they thought, they still had each other.

Everyone who knew them just assumed that Holly and Cassandra had started some sort of relationship after Shelby left, but they were wrong. Holly was Cassie's best friend—there were no romantic feelings involved, and Cass was completely grateful for it. She didn't know if she'd be able to stand another deeply emotional relationship—once Shelby left Cassie lived off of one night stands. No more feelings, no more emotions. She couldn't get hurt like she was—not again.

She became a hard ass—someone who didn't show emotions, tried her best not to have emotions, and became just plain…gone. Shelby had broken her and no one, not even Holly, knew how to put her back together.

Rachel and Holly tried, of course, and Cass was grateful for that, too. Each day they just took one step at a time.

There were times when Cassandra had her off days, and these were the times where Holly and Rachel cursed Shelby the most. They were the days where she couldn't get out of bed, she begged for alcohol that no one gave her, (to make it go away, she had whined over and over again), she cried and screamed Shelby's name while she was asleep…those were the days that nothing could calm her, so Rachel and Holly would just lie in bed with her, like they did that night, and cry with her, because they missed her too and they wondered if Shelby even cared.

Rachel shook her head at her mother's busy schedule. It wasn't always busy—only on those select days during sobriety when she had to stay busy or else fall into relapse, which Rach completely understood. She would have much rather her mom be busy than drunk. She knew she was still hurting, even if it had been eight years. Shelby was the love of her life.

"We have to stop off and get San," Rachel told Holly. "It's her dance lesson too."

Holly laughed at this. "San is awake and ready so early in the morning? This is something I gotta see…"

Rachel shrugged, "Guess we'll find out."

San was short for Santana—Rachel's best friend since forever. They had met in kindergarten and were super close ever since. Cass had been giving the both of them dance lessons together ever since. Cassandra was happy that her daughter had a best friend to rely on, just like she had Holly. She didn't know what she would do without Holly Holiday. Holly was the optimism that kept the family from falling apart.

"Why isn't she over here already?" Holly asked Rach as she grabbed her jacket and Rachel grabbed her dance bag. "Doesn't she like, live here or something?"

"Most days," Rachel nodded as they walked out the door and into the busy morning streets. "But she had to check in with her mom before she freaked out on us again…"

She didn't usually care if Santana stayed with Rachel, as long as Santana came home every other night or so. Sometimes Rachel stayed with Santana, too, just to get out of the house.

Rach pounded on the front door when they got to Santana's mother's apartment. "San lets go before mom kills us! You know she'll work us over time again if we're late…"

Santana Lopez, looking sexy as ever, hurried out the door after kissing her mother's cheek and muttering an,

"Adios, mama." She was wearing black wedges, black leggings, and a black leotard with an off the shoulder sleeve, her hair pulled up into a high bun, with some of her bangs hanging down in her face. Out of habit, Rachel moved Santana's bangs back behind her ear.

"Jesus, Hobbit, I'm coming, I'm coming," she laughed, leading the way to NYADA so they could get into the studio. "Hobbit" was the nickname she had decked Rachel with years ago—Rach was just so much shorter than Santana, and it didn't help that San almost always wore heels.

Holly smiled at the girls' friendship—it reminded her a lot of hers with Cassandra. However, it also reminded her a lot of Cass and Shelby's relationship, which always frightened her, just a little bit. Rachel was so much like her mother and Santana was a tease just like Cassie. She hoped to god that neither girl would ever hurt the other, and she didn't really think either would, but then again that was what she had always thought of Cass and Shelby and she lived what happened there.

Finally, they all made it to the studio in one piece, only to find Cassandra, stretching in the corner and nursing what looked like a whiskey. With an eye roll, Holly walked over to her and snatched it out of her hands. "You had made it a whole three days, hot stuff, why'd you have to give up now?"

"It hurt, Holly. I was just taking a little sip…"

"Mmmhmm. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Holly smashed the bottle by throwing it into the trashcan—the liquid running down the side of the bag.

"Nothing helps me sleep any better and you know it. You're a little hypocrite, you're an alcoholic yourself!"

San and Rach exchanged that look that said, "Oh, so it's going to be one of _those_ days…maybe we should just go stretch and leave them to it…" so that's what they did, in the opposite corner, listening as Holly tried to make Cassandra see reason. She had been doing so well the day before. It was a constant struggle now.

"I USED to be, sweet cheeks, you know I let that go to help you stay sane and raise Rach. If I could do it, Cassie baby, so can you. Come on now, stand up,"

Cass stood and rolled her eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me," Holly said with a laugh. "Teach these girls something worth knowing, take a deep breath, finish your day without another drink?" she suggested.

"Okay," Cassandra agreed. "I can do that,"

"I have all the faith in the world in you," Holly promised her. "I have to get going; I have a sub job in an hour. You girls have a house key?" she turned to Rach and Santana.

Rach stood and checked her bag, "Yep. When are you going to be home?"

"Um…" Holly thought about it. "Probably about the same time your mom gets home. Will you two gals be okay by yourselves? Promise no more crazy parties?"

"That was _one_ time," Santana stood too. "Don't pretend you didn't have fun."

"It was fun," Holly admitted. "But we agreed it would only happen once."

"Don't worry, Aunt Hol, we won't burn the house down, we won't go to the club, we won't invite over random boys to hook up with."

"Well good, you two can't have ALL the fun without me." Holly winked. "I'll see ya."

"Later," San called out.

Their lesson carried on as Cassie had them practice their acrobatics and catching each other, treating them like dance partners, because technically they were. San dipped Rach before pulling her into the air, as Rach wrapped her legs around San's waist and San spun her around. After this San dropped her, gracefully to the ground, breathless. This had been the fourth time they had done something like this, alternating back and forth between lifting and flying.

"That was good, Santana, but it needs to be better. Focus. You're best friends, I get that, but act like lovers."

Rachel's face flushed and she was happy that she was turned away from her mom so she wouldn't see. Rach and San had had much more practice than Cassie had known, if they were going to talk about treating each other like lovers.

"Best friends" was sort of their alibi.

Neither girl was ready to be public about it.

The next time they did the lift, Cassie called it good and let them go for the day. She was tired, she knew they were tired, and she had other classes that day anyways.

"Don't get into trouble," she called out the door after them.

"Us? Never…" Santana smirked. Once they were free of the NYADA campus, Santana sneaked her hand into Rachel's. Rachel immediately froze,

"San, what if someone sees?" she asked timidly. San had never been so forward with her in public before.

Santana shrugged. "It only matters if Holly or Cass or my mother sees, right? Or someone we know? We'll be okay…trust me."

Rachel relaxed in Santana's hold and moved closer to her. "Alright."

They continued to walk back to the apartment, excited to have it to themselves for the day. That almost never happened…

. . .

"Now, get into groups and discuss why it's not okay to cheat on someone," Holly instructed her class. They had been reading The Scarlet Letter. She left the classroom for one second to go and refill her water and as she walked down the hallway she heard an unmistakable voice. Though she told herself it couldn't be what she thought it was, it did sound completely convincing. She walked past the college's bulletin board, backing up to the classroom she passed with the voice.

She wasn't mistaken.

It was definitely her voice.

The voice of the woman who had torn Cassandra's heart apart and left Holly to pick up the pieces. The voice of the woman who left her daughter and her lover for her career.

Shelby was standing in the room next to her, separated only by a wooden door and a bit of glass.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel and Santana sat on the couch, close together, pretending to watch TV when really they were watching each other. San would pull her hair out of her face and Rach would bite her lip; Rach would take off her jacket and San would raise an eyebrow. Sure, they grew used to being together—they had been a "couple" since they were fourteen. They had gotten into small fights since then, it hadn't been a consecutive two years, but it was pretty close. They both understood that they were young and had a lot to learn, but they knew at least that they truly did love each other.

Feeling especially bold, Santana leaned over and pecked Rachel softly on the cheek, making Rachel's face flush red. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked quietly.

"We never do anything, Rach," Santana reminded her. "But we're sixteen now—don't you think we could mess around a little?" the sexual tension was driving her insane.

Rachel laughed lightly. "Well of course, I just…don't want to get caught."

"Who's gonna see?" Santana asked. She didn't want to get caught either—not at ALL—but in all reality, Rachel was being a little bit paranoid—the blinds were down, they were home alone and would be for HOURS…

"Well, if you're so sure…maybe a few kisses wouldn't be so bad," Rachel had a light tone of teasing and a widespread grin spread across her lips. Santana mimicked the facial expression and Rachel pulled Santana closer, placing a soft kiss on the girl's mouth. "Like that?"

They weren't used to doing a whole lot—there wasn't often a good time to do it. It had been forever since they had actually kissed, and both girls absolutely loved the reintroduced feeling.

Santana joined in on Rachel's games, "Uh huh, and like this," she kissed Rachel back and Rachel's heart leapt. She swore it was going to fall out of her chest.

She could get used to this…

. . .

Holly dropped her jaw and threw her hand over her mouth to cover a gasp. What the hell was Shelby doing there?! Hadn't she gone away? Forever?! She hadn't seen the woman in eight years…and who was that girl standing next to her? Laughing with her? She looked too young to be Shelby's friend.

Her mind spun with questions, but the one she found most concerning was what was she going to do? Did she walk in there and bitch her out? She felt a dire need to tell the woman straight up how horrible she is for leaving her daughter and lover for so long on a whim like that—for turning Cassie into an alcoholic, for screwing up Rachel's life, for ALL of the pain she had inflicted upon them all.

On another note, if she went in there, wouldn't it just start something she didn't want happening? What would happen if Shelby knew she was there? Would she try to go back to Cassie? What would Cassie do when she found out that Holly saw Shelby and didn't say anything about it, though? Poor Holly had no clue which route to take, but it didn't matter because Shelby chose it for her.

At the exact WRONG moment for Holly, who was still standing in front of the door in contemplation, Shelby turned her head and saw the blonde. Realizing it, Holly sucked in a breath. Shelby's eyes widened in recognition and she slowly held up a finger to the girl that was talking to her, pointing the door and saying something that looked something like "just one minute". Briskly, quickly, in that oh-so-very Shelby Corcoran business woman way, she walked towards the door and swung it open, standing in front of her ex-lover's best friend, unsure how to proceed for the first time in a long time. Holly said nothing at first, figuring she'd let Shelby make the first move and that would determine how Holly continued on.

Shelby was the first one to speak, as Holly had hoped,

"Holly," She said, clearly still shell-shocked. The girl she was talking to slowly pulled open the door that Shelby had just walked out of and stepped up behind her, remaining quiet. "What are you doing here?"

Coldly, crossing her arms over her chest, Holly answered, "I could ask you the same question. You can't be here."

This actually made Shelby crack a smile. It seemed like a fairly evil smile—it contained a lot of bitterness. "Oh?" she literally laughed and Holly held back the urge to slap the bitch. One step at a time. "And why is that?" she took a look down each side of the hallway before continuing, "I don't see Cassandra here to stop me…"

Finally, the girl behind Shelby just seemed unable to stay quiet anymore. She moved her dark chocolate locks behind her ear as she piped up, "Um, Mom? Who's Cassandra? Is that the woman you used to love?"

Shelby pressed her lips together tightly at her daughter's inquisitive nature. She still LOVED Cassandra—that hadn't changed.

Holly thought she was going to have a heart attack and she choked out, "MOM?!"

Shelby's eyes widened but she kept her composure otherwise, straightening her back and trying to look like she still had superiority. Holly looked at the child in disbelief—well, technically the girl wasn't a child…It couldn't be…Shelby's other daughter…Holly and Cassandra BOTH knew that Shelby had had a daughter when she was sixteen, but they were told that (was her name Sophia?) lived with her dad—it had never been an issue before. So why was she back now all of a sudden?!

"Yes, Holly. This is my daughter, Sophie."

Sophie. Not Sophia.

Holly's eyes grew cold, and she felt tiny. "Your daughter's name is Rachel, in case you've forgotten, and SHE is not her." If there was any more bitterness to Holly's tone, it would have sliced Shelby in half like a sword. Shelby knew what game she was playing, and she was unimpressed by it.

"Rachel is Cassandra's daughter—"

"Not by blood!" Holly had finally had enough. "Not until you left them alone for EIGHT years! Do you even understand what you've done?! You were EVERYTHING to them, Shelby! You left Rachel alone, and you BROKE Cassandra, the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE and for WHAT?! For HER? For Sophie?!" the girl's name tasted like venom on Holly's tongue. The blonde had never felt so much hate for someone in her life—she was usually a very optimistic, outgoing, and forgiving person.

Sophie stepped out from behind her mother and raised an eyebrow. "So this isn't Cassandra then? Who is it—her guard dog?"

"Yeah, actually, and this bitch isn't all bark and no bite so you'd best watch out, sweetheart" Holly glared.

Shelby took a protective step in front of Sophie. "Don't you DARE threaten my daughter." She warned. Holly took a step forward, even though she had to look up at Shelby, and said menacingly,

"Fine, maybe I'll just threaten YOU. You STAY AWAY from Cassandra AND from Rachel. They're learning to live without you and she's still trying to recover…the only thing your presence will do is mess them up more. We have a system now. We can get by again, finally, and we don't need you coming in to ruin it."

"You used an awful lot of "we's" in that sentence," Shelby said, taking a step behind her to back away. "Have you replaced me as lover?"

"I've always been her best friend—that hasn't changed. _I_ know how to protect her—I know how to help raise Rachel and that's what I've done and we're doing perfectly fine without you getting in the way again."

Shelby bit her cheek in thought. She had, intentionally come back to this side of New York. After eight long years (and yes, she had counted each day with an agonizing guilty pain in her gut) she had to know how they were doing. She simply couldn't stay away anymore. She hadn't stopped loving Cassandra—every night her dreams were plagued with the woman. But after she had left, she had this other family to think about—her family with Sophie and Garrett, Sophie's father. It was just too much flipping back and forth between the two before, and if all it was going to do was piss Cassandra off…Shelby just didn't understand it. Garrett never got mad at her for never seeing _them_. She had to remember she had never actually _told_ Cassandra what she was doing when she was so late all the time, but still…

She stood and was silent as she thought about her options and she scoffed at Cassandra's best friend's threat—she had handled much worse than Holly Holiday.

After a long pause in which Sophie had to check to make sure her mom was still fully functioning, Shelby asked at a quiet whisper,

"Does she miss me?"

Unsure if Shelby was talking about Rachel or Cass (she was pretty sure she was referring to Cass) she decided it didn't matter as she answered for both of them, "She hates you for what you did,"

Shelby's heart dropped and shattered at the word "hate" but she didn't let it show. "That isn't what I asked,"

"That's all you're going to get as an answer," Holly took the upper hand as she turned to walk away, "Goodbye, Shelby. Stay away from them, stay away from me—stay away from US." She headed back to the classroom where she came from, angry and knowing she had to finish the day with a smile. Good thing she was an actress.

Shelby was too stunned to reply. She turned to look at the daughter she had given birth to when she was sixteen—she looked a lot more like her father than like Shelby, but the fact that she was Shelby's was still prominent. She had Shelby's green eyes, and her dark brunette hair, and her bone structure. Her face shape was all Garrett's…

For a minute she just stared at Sophie, wondering how she got herself into such a predicament. She had been foolish when she got pregnant with her, really. She didn't know what love was, she was young and stupid and she and Garrett had made a mistake, but abortion was definitely not an option. Garrett had immediately stepped up and taken the father role—he knew that Shelby had dreams that she was hell bent on accomplishing and he respected that. Shelby had moved to New York, leaving Sophie in his care. Eventually they moved to New York as well in able to see her more often as she worked two jobs—her show and a waitressing job in order to send child support. She saw them as often as she could.

…but one night she had gone to a cast party, got drunk, (COMPLETELY wasted), met LeRoy Berry…interesting times had taken place, she ended up pregnant again at the age of nineteen. It wasn't long after that she met Cassandra. She knew she was in love for real that time—she had never been able to explain their passionate connection, it had just hit her and it hit her hard.

LeRoy ironically turned out to be gay as well, and had left Shelby pregnant while he ran off with a man named Hiram.

Cassandra, completely in love and entranced by Shelby, agreed immediately to raise Rachel with her—she couldn't wait to get their lives started and Shelby agreed wholeheartedly, lost in love. However she knew she couldn't forget about Sophie and Garrett…

After that she had to work harder—she got three jobs including her show, and continued sending child support money to Garrett, unbeknown to Cassie. Yes, Cassie was aware that Shelby had another daughter, but the most Shelby had ever really said was that Sophie lived with her dad. It had never really been a problem with Cassandra, and she didn't plan on pissing off Cassandra and making it a bigger deal than it really was. She stayed late after shows to go and see Sophie and Garrett (mostly Sophie, but Garrett was always there, of course) and was often late coming home. Most of the time she told Cassandra she was at some sort of meeting, (which technically, Shelby had reasoned to make herself feel better about the situation, wasn't a lie).

As she stared at Sophie and thought about what a mess she had turned out to be, a single tear fled down her cheek. How her heart ached for Cassie—she missed her so damn much. She loved her so damn much. Every day she thought about her. She cursed herself for leaving but once she had she just couldn't get up the courage to go back. She knew she was a coward—a coward and a screw up, that much was apparent. But despite Holly's threat (whether it was empty or not was unclear to Shelby yet), she knew she had to have her Cassie back, if it was the last thing she did. That's why she applied to teach music at Rachel's school, damn it, and she wasn't about to back out of everything now. The only reason she was even at the college today was to resign. She had her goals set. She needed Cassie in her life again. She missed her little Rachel. She knew she could figure out a way to make both families work now—she was older, she was more experienced, she had a plan.

She just bit her lip and hoped that Rachel and Cassie would still love her.

. . .

As Cassandra's final class of the day finished up, she downed a bottle of water (because she promised Holly and herself that she wouldn't drink any more alcohol today) and locked up the studio, her head cloudy and throbbing. She just needed to get back to the apartment, lie down, and chill out with Rach, San, and Holly and she couldn't wait to do just that.

She walked down the street towards the apartment and as she rushed through the crowded streets, she could've sworn she saw…but no. It wasn't her. She shook her head—she was hallucinating again. It wasn't anything new. Besides, there were a lot of people walking down the street, especially during rush hour, and most of them had brunette hair like Shelby's.

Cass scolded herself. No one except for Shelby had hair as beautiful as Shelby's.

_STOP thinking about her. You were doing so well…_ Her heart started its usual ache and she rolled her eyes. She didn't need this right now. She kept walking, staring hard at the ground. The thoughts would just go away. They would just go away.

Shelby was walking back to the apartment she shared with Garrett and Sophie. Sophie walked behind her, asking some questions but not nearly as much as Rachel would've been asking Cassie. Sophie looked like Shelby, a bit, but her personality was mostly Garrett's, too. But for a moment, Shelby's heart stopped, and she stopped too. In the middle of the road.

"MOM!" Sophie yelled, dragging her to the side before a taxi ran her over. Shelby was un-phased by the almost-hit, she was more concerned about the whisk of blonde hair that had just caught the corner of her eye. Only ONE person had that absolutely stunning blonde hair. Only ONE body was THAT perfect. Only ONE person had those abs. That was her Cassandra, sure as hell.

She didn't know what to do. She had planned, for years, to get Cassandra back. Now she had a chance to at least talk to her, and she forgot how to breathe, move, function.

Sophie's eyes widened in recognition. "Was that her?" she asked, astounded. "She IS hot mom…"

"Back off," Shelby managed to joke. "She's mine."

"I'm not—"

"I know, I know…"

Shelby was reminded that her daughter wasn't gay when she brought home her extremely buff model boyfriend. She was reminded that her daughter wasn't gay when she had to have a certain talk with her daughter ABOUT said boyfriend, so Sophie didn't end up with two children by the age of nineteen like her mother.

She sped up her pace and Sophie kept up. Eventually, when she made it right behind Cassandra, she whispered,

"Cassie, baby,"

The blonde stopped dead in her tracks. Did she dare turn around? She often heard Shelby's voice in her head, and she wasn't sure whether to trust her senses. She shut her eyes tightly, _It's all in your head it's all in your head, Cassandra don't be a dumb bitch…_ but she turned around anyways, opened her eyes, and practically passed out. Shelby Corcoran—her babe, her Shelby, her ex—was standing right behind her. Was it…another hallucination? Or…was it her?

"…Shelbs?"

"It's me, Cassie."

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, she couldn't function.

She turned around and sped walked towards her apartment. Shelby wasn't back. Shelby wasn't there. That was NOT Shelby. It couldn't have been Shelby.

Shelby left.

"Baby, wait!" Cass swore she heard Shelby's voice again but it couldn't have been Shelby. It WASN'T Shelby.

Shelby left.

She didn't stop walking until she got to her apartment, opening the door and slamming it shut behind her, hyperventilating, she slid down the door until her ass hit the floor. She put her head between her knees. She cried.

Cassandra July was a hard ass. It took a lot these days to make her react like this.

Shelby was a big deal.

. . .

Rachel and Santana were relaxing in the living room of the apartment, just talking, sitting next to each other. They had stopped their games of kisses and touches because they knew that Holly and Cass were fixing to come home soon.

Just as expected, Cassandra was the first one through the front door. She looked like hell had just bit her on the ass, is what Santana thought, but she wasn't about to say that to her. It wasn't as if she had the chance to, either. The second Cass walked through the door, she slammed it shut, fell to the floor, and started bawling. A choked sob emitted from deep within her throat—she sounded like she was choking.

She felt like she was drowning.

"Mom?" Rachel ran over to her. "Hey, what happened? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Rachel," Santana warned. "Don't overwhelm her…"

"Mom?" Rachel ignored her "best friend", asking again.

Cassandra couldn't answer—she couldn't talk, she was too busy trying to breathe correctly. Finally, she managed to inhale deeply and lift up her head. Rachel and Santana's figures were blurry through her tears. "I—I saw—"

Before she could finish explaining what she saw, Holly pounded on the door, trying to get Cass to get up so it could be opened. Rachel got Cassie to her feet and wrapped a protective arm around her—San hugged Cassie's other side.

"That BITCH," Holly yelled, slamming the door shut behind her once she walked through it. "Oh my god, honey, what happened to you?" her tone grew softer. "I… I have to tell you something—"

"I—I just saw Shelby," Cassie said softly, her face red from frustration at herself and depression at her situation.

Holly raised an eyebrow and clenched her jaw. "Me too…" she admitted.

Santana dropped her jaw and Rachel gasped. "You just saw WHO?" she demanded. "SHE LEFT! SHE CAN'T COME BACK!"

"That's what I told her," Holly said.

"WHAT did you tell her?!" Cassandra demanded.

"Hey, HEY." Santana said. This got them all to stop talking at once. "Everyone needs to calm down, and start from the beginning…"

So Holly did, and Cassie did, and Rachel grabbed Santana's hand while she listened—she didn't care who saw it.

Shelby was…Shelby was back?

What did THIS mean?

What was going to happen to Cassandra?


	4. Chapter 4

Santana and Rachel walked down the hallway of their school, silently. They kept close but quiet—after they found out the big news about Shelby, nobody in that household really knew what to say to one another. It had only been a couple of days (well, the weekend was over and it was Monday) but Cassie was getting worse. This pissed off San and Rach and Holly to no end—she had been getting better and better each day, until Shelby showed her face and re-ruined everyone's lives.

As they walked to their next class, they heard the whispers of gossip around them. Rach was shocked by the rumors she was hearing; Santana was just irritated by them.

"Did you hear about the new music teacher?" one student said to another.

"Yeah, but have you _seen_ her?! She's so hot…" the guy answered his friend.

Rachel turned her attention to Santana and spoke to her for the first time in a long time,

"There's a new music teacher?" she wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Santana pressed her lips together into a fine line, feeling bad that Rachel had such an innocent mind set—the poor girl didn't yet understand Shelby's true intentions but Santana caught on quickly and saw right through the bitch's act. She really didn't have the heart to tell Rachel—to be the one to break her girlfriend's fragile, emotional, optimistic heart. She would find out by fifth hour anyways, right? She figured she'd give her another few hours of innocence. So instead of saying what probably should have been said, Santana wrapped a "friendly" (to other people it looked friendly, but Rach and Santana knew what it meant) arm around Rachel's waist and said,

"Yep, and apparently she's hot."

"Hmm," Rachel smiled flirtatiously. "Well don't you get any ideas, Lopez. You're taken."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Berry. Not in a million years." She promised because it was so SO very true. She would NEVER date Shelby and she couldn't believe the love that Cassandra still had for her—that's why she beat herself up about it so much. It wasn't because Shelby left and Cassandra felt alone—it was because Shelby left and was horrible and Cassandra couldn't stop loving her.

San pulled Rach closer as they made it to the classroom. She had a feeling that Rachel needed this closeness—it was going to be a rough, long day.

. . .

Fifth hour came sooner than Santana had hoped, and she bit her lip fretfully. Rachel didn't see the emotion in the lip bite—Santana had always been so good at hiding her feelings, especially towards Rachel, who hadn't known Santana was crushing on her until she accidentally let it slip at age 14—Rachel just found the lip bite endearing. She became a bit distracted by it, as they went into the music room. The new teacher had her back to everyone as she drew a grand staff on the white board, doodling out a treble and bass clef. Rachel hardly noticed her and Santana was thankful for the extra time. But then the damned woman turned around.

Poor Rachel's jaw basically dropped to the floor and Santana held her head in her hands, wanting to smack Shelby to China. Or better yet, Lima Heights, where she might actually have a better chance of getting beat up.

Shelby's heart sped up as she spotted Rachel, her eyes filling with tears. Her Rachel was so grown up. She wasn't a little eight year old girl anymore. She was so beautiful and so…

Shelby felt so horrible. The hole in her heart grew as she cursed herself for the billionth time that day for ever leaving her daughter and the love of her life. She wasn't sure exactly how this first meeting would fare, but she definitely was not expecting immediate acceptance and she could see that clearly she was not going to get it either.

She narrowed her eyes for a moment at the Latina girl sitting next to Rachel, so close to her. Was that…it couldn't be…Santana Lopez? They were still so close? This made Shelby feel a very VERY little bit better—at least Rachel had someone to stick with her this whole time—it was more, Shelby admitted to herself, than Shelby had ever been strong enough to do herself.

Rachel's heart thumped loudly and a lump began to form in her throat. Shelby—her mom—_she_ was the new hot music teacher?! This couldn't be happening; not after she had vowed to Cassandra and Holly that she would stay as far away from Shelby as possible and Santana had vowed the same. Not after suffering eight years of loneliness. Not now.

Finally, the bell rang and Shelby had to start class. She put on a tough face and straightened her shoulders and cleared her throat.

"Hello, everyone, I'm Shelby Corcoran and I'm your new music teacher, drama instructor, and show choir director after Ms. Olivo was hired elsewhere."

_No doubt after you sabotaged her to get your way,_ Santana thought with an eye roll.

Shelby bit her lip—once Cass and Holly found out about this they'd probably think that she had done something extreme to get the job, but she hadn't. Really she had just waited for an opportunity—Ms. Olivo really DID get another job opportunity and took it and as soon as she was out the door Shelby made sure that she was the first to step in.

"You may call me Shelby, or Ms. Corcoran, or Ms. C, it doesn't matter to me. This is a room of artistic expression and I'm not going to make it too horribly professional. However I do need you all to know that this is a class that I take very seriously and I will push you all until you've given me no less than 110%. Are there any questions?"

Rachel was speechless and Santana was debating starting a riot. She usually didn't think so seriously about things, but this wasn't entirely about her—she was more concerned for Rachel's well being, and what would happen if she just stood up and hit Rachel's mother in the face—she didn't think it would fly very well with her girlfriend so she thought better of it and came up with a new battle strategy. There were better tactics she could use and she was thinking about her personal favorite—verbal abuse. It wasn't as if she had no ammo.

"No? Well then, I'm going to take roll." She picked up her clipboard and read down the list, completely unaware of how close Rachel's name was to the top. Not many kids took the music class, because not many kids needed the credit nor actually cared. "Kevin Banner?"

"Here," a kid who played the violin in band raised a hand.

"Carla Bennett?"

"Right here," she gave Shelby a warm smile.

_Kiss ass._ Santana thought to herself. Carla was always getting solos that San and Rachel totally deserved. Maybe, she thought now, things would be different. She shook her head. Things wouldn't be different because she was going to get Rachel out of here, somehow and sometime soon.

"Xavier Donovan?"

"Yeah," the guy flashed a smile and Santana grimaced—he was always hitting on Rachel.

San turned her head and took Rachel's hand, squeezing it gently for support as Shelby spoke the next name, her voice almost at a choke,

"Rachel July,"

Shelby looked up into the face of her daughter. She had changed her last name—she supposed the girl had every right to, and probably was happy that she did. Why would anyone want to keep the last name of the one person who had hurt them the most—the one who abandoned them? Shelby dry swallowed and saw that Rachel had tears in her eyes.

Rachel couldn't stand this—she didn't know what to say, she didn't want to say "here" because "here" was the last place she wanted to be. She wasn't ready to face Shelby and she wasn't sure she ever would be and she hated that her "mother" had put her in this position. Santana could feel the pain that Rachel was going through just by looking at her expression and judging by the tight grip she had on the girl's hand. That was when Santana had decided that five minutes of torture was five minutes too much.

She stood, pulling Rachel up with her.

"Rachel's not here," she spoke because her girlfriend couldn't. "And neither is Santana Lopez, they're taking a sick day, effective now." She pulled Rachel with her as she headed towards the door and hoped to god, for Rachel's sake, that Shelby would just let it go. But she knew the woman would be too stubborn to be talked to like that in front of her class.

"I'm sorry, I can't let the two of you leave just like that," Shelby spoke up. Santana froze in front of the door and turned on the spot and Shelby knew that she had gotten herself into it deep. But she couldn't, as a teacher, just let students walk out of her classroom, especially not on the first day, even if it was Santana and Rachel. If she let these two disrespect her, the others would think it's okay and she couldn't deal with that and she knew that the school board wouldn't stand for it either.

Santana raised an eyebrow. "I don't think Rachel's mom will care that we leave, but you can call her, if you'd like to," she challenged. Rachel stood behind Santana, thankful—SO thankful—that her girlfriend was so strong in times that she couldn't be.

"And your mother?" Shelby threw back, carefully. Shelby's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Cassandra and the fact that Santana had the nerve to bring her up. She always remembered the girl was feisty but didn't realize just how far she was willing to go. Shelby was walking on thin ice—she knew she had to be very careful. "Please, Ms. Lopez, and Ms. July, take your seats so I can continue."

"Wow," Santana choked back a laugh. "Ms. July? Ms. Lopez? We're not even on first name basis anymore—you just leave for eight years and suddenly intimate things like names no longer matter. It's incredible to know how much you care." She spit at Shelby viciously. Rachel grabbed her hand a bit tighter and Shelby placed her hands on her hips in that who-do-you-think-you-are way that she always used to do.

"May I speak with the two of you in the hallway, for a minute, please?"

Santana scoffed. "Why, you don't want your students knowing how—"

"Santana," Shelby's voice carried so much warning and so much force that Santana actually retreated back when she spoke, stunned. "Now."

Biting her cheek, Santana led the way out into the hallway and Shelby followed, slamming the classroom door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Is this how you talk to people you're not on a first name basis with?"

"You think you can treat me like that in my classroom?"

"You think you can just WALTZ in here after EIGHT DAMN YEARS and pretend like nothing ever happened?! Do you not UNDERSTAND how much Rachel is hurting? How broken Cassandra is? Do you not get that it's all your fault?!"

"I KNOW THAT. I KNOW IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I'm trying to make things better—"

"Then LEAVE." Santana practically growled. "No one wants you here. Not Holly, not Cassandra, not Rachel, not me. We're doing fine without you."

Desperately, Shelby turned her attention to Rachel, whose emotions were so mixed up that she hadn't known what to think—she had gone numb and simply started listening to their banter, wishing to be home in bed with Santana holding her and whispering promises of "it'll be okay", even though she knew it wasn't okay.

Things definitely were not okay.

"Rachel? Baby girl…" Shelby's voice cracked and a tear slid down her cheek. She had missed so much….so much of Rachel's life that she would never get back and she would always pay for the hurt she caused this family to endure. She knew that. This was not going to be easy, but fighting for love never was.

"Don't "baby girl" her," Santana said angrily. "Don't even talk to her. You don't have that right any more."

Rachel didn't want to answer her anyways. She didn't want to look at her, she didn't want to put up with her, she didn't want to hear Shelby's name. Yet there she stood.

Before Shelby could respond, Santana said, "We're done here. I'm calling Holly to come and get us. Let's go, Rach…"

Rachel let herself be led forward and Shelby didn't stop them—she couldn't push this, she knew. She had to let things sink in before she could do anything about it.

She wrung her hands together and worried about what she had just done. But she didn't have time to contemplate her life's choices—she had a class to teach.

. . .

"Shelby is WHAT?" Holly screamed into the phone. Had she NOT told this witch to stay away? Was her threat not threatening enough? Did she need to go down to the school and start a fight in front of god and everybody? "No she didn't!" she exclaimed. She couldn't believe that Shelby would actually go to this extreme—well, really she could. It was Shelby, after all. When Shelby had a goal there wasn't much that could possibly stand in the way of it. This was nothing but a speed bump to her. Things would get more intense before they ever got better.

From in her bedroom, Cassandra groaned loudly. "What did she do THIS time?!" Holly had forced her to call in sick—a sort of rehabilitation period—and NYADA had accepted it, because the headmistress was familiar and friends with their family and she completely understood what Cassandra was dealing with.

Holly walked into Cassandra's bedroom and hung up the phone with Santana before grabbing a jacket and saying, "Stay here, I have to go pick up the girls. Rachel really needs me right now."

Realization dawned on Cassandra's face—an emotion mixed with dread. "She's gotten to Rachel now too…"

Holly nodded and sighed. "She's their new music teacher."

Cass tilted her head back and flopped down onto her back. "Damn." She stared at the ceiling for a moment before declaring, "I'm coming with you."

"Um, no the hell you aren't, lay your ass back down. We're not going to start World War Corcoran in the middle of their school hallway. Enough attention is drawn to the two of them on a daily basis as it is. We'll handle Shelby some other time, some other way. Understand, Cass? You have to STAY AWAY."

Cassandra growled, "Don't treat me like a puppy."

"Then don't ACT like a lovesick puppy, sweet cheeks. You can't trail her around everywhere she goes just because she's back. Don't be so loyal—you know she's not here to stay. Just lie here, don't move, I'll be right back." Holly finished putting on her jacket and grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall.

"But—" Cassandra protested, sitting up on the edge of her bed.

"No. Stay!" Holly commanded, pushing her forehead so Cass fell back down onto her back.

"Can I at least get up to pee?!" Cassandra questioned, pushing her luck like always. Holly was happy to see that even in the face of a situation like this, Cassie still had her humor.

"Bathroom and back, but that's IT." Holly said.

"What if I'm hungry?" Cass demanded.

"I'll make food for us all when I get home. Don't make me tie you to the bed."

"Kinky,"

"Shut up. Goodbye, Cass." Holly smirked and shut the door behind her.

Cass sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Joking with Holly had distracted her for a minute but now that she was gone….she knew that following her was a bad idea. Holiday was right when she said they couldn't start WWC (World War Corcoran) in their school—it was definitely not the best of techniques, and as a dancer, Cassandra knew all about proper technique. If this was going to be done, it had to be done with grace—careful steps towards a common goal.

She didn't really know yet what she wanted out of all of this. She was furious—beyond furious—that Shelby had left the first time. But…now she was back. And even though her trust was completely gone, she still loved her whether she liked it or not and had learned to accept the fact that she could not shake the in love feeling off, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much alcohol she downed.

She just wanted this nightmare to end.

She wanted ALL of her nightmares to end.

And she knew she had to figure out how to make them end herself because she knew that one day she was going to be the only person she had. That's what she had learned, after Shelby left—you can't trust anybody.

But she trusted Holly with her life. She trusted Rachel and she trusted Santana.

That didn't mean she wasn't weary of them.

Because of Shelby she was weary of everybody.

Because of Shelby, she was broken.

She was vulnerable.


	5. Chapter 5

Cass continued to lie on her back on her bed. She sighed and glared up at the ceiling. There was no way in hell she was going to let Holly go and talk to Shelby without her. Cassandra was so confused about everything that had been going on recently—she definitely needed alcohol and was contemplating sneaking it while Holly was gone, despite her promise to stay on the bed with the exception of going to the bathroom. All she had wanted for the past 8 years was for Shelby to come back. Now Shelby was back, and one huge part of Cass really wanted to just let Shelby envelope her in her strong, loving arms and fix everything—she wanted her back so badly. But there was another part that wouldn't stop nagging at her—"She left us, she left you, she left both of you and she doesn't deserve you or Rachel. Rachel doesn't deserve this torture. You can't go through this again—how can you still trust her?"

Her head was spinning.

She stood and put on her coat and heels. Screw her promise to Holly. Holly would get over it. The only way to fix things was to talk to Shelby herself, Cassandra decided, crossing her arms protectively over her chest as she walked out the apartment door. She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say to Shelby—she wasn't exactly sure she had to strength to say anything at all to Shelby—but she had to see her again. To verify to herself that this was happening, even if 3 other people were already giving their own testimonies. So no matter how hard she tried to turn around and go back home, ignore the fact that anything had changed, and drink herself into oblivion, she kept walking. She had to keep walking.

Shelby. She had to see Shelby.

Oh, her Shelby…

. . .

Holly stormed through the school hallway, passing by the office outside which Rachel and Santana sat; Santana was looking furious, Rachel was looking unsure of her emotions, but both were staring at the ground, their mouths in fine lines. When Holly passed, Santana looked up, and then stood up so quickly it made her head spin.

"Holl, what are you doing? You can't just walk into her classroom and—"

Santana was ignored and so she followed Holly into Shelby's room, dragging Rachel up with her. The young girl raised her eyebrows in protest and Santana continued to try to convince Holly that any fight started right now would be a bad idea. Of course, being Holly, any common sense was lost at this point. She got defensive because no one else was crazy enough to do it. She opened the door without haste and yelled,

"YOU."

"Hey—" Santana tried once more to stop her to no prevail. She recognized she was too late to do anything and decided to just sit back with Rachel and watch the show.

Shelby spun upon hearing the loud accusation, facing Holly with a raised eyebrow—one that looked uncannily like Rachel's. "Excuse me? You have no right to just—"

Without letting her finish, Holly walked up to Shelby and smacked her, crisply, making a very loud cracking sound, across the face. Shelby was so shocked she couldn't respond with anything. She didn't have a clever comeback this time, and she wasn't about to hit Holly back. Even if she wanted to, how could she in front of her students? She was just embarrassed in front of them though, and she pondered hitting Holly back just to prove that she couldn't be so easily walked all over. She put a hand to her face. The smack had reminded her of the night she left Cassie—of how hard she had hit the blonde before Rachel came in, terrified at the loud noise they were making.

"YOU have no right to be here. Go back to your other family—the one you loved so much that you left us for. Cassandra doesn't trust you, Rachel doesn't need you, and nobody wants you around anymore." The last part was a lie but Holly was past pissed. "You obviously loved them more than you cared about or loved Cassandra and Rachel anyways, or you wouldn't have chosen them. You would've tried harder. You wouldn't have left." Holly continued.

Shelby pressed her lips tightly together. She knew that to an extent Holly was completely right. However, there were a few things that Holly had gotten horribly wrong. Like the fact that Shelby loved Cassandra and Rachel more than anything in her life and that's why she had to leave. She couldn't juggle both families anymore, that part was true. But she didn't choose Garrett and Sophie because she wanted to. It was a story to tell Cassandra and Holly and Rachel and Santana later on—not in front of her new students, on whom she had already seemed to make a horrible impression.

"Holly, can we please discuss this later?" she said through gritted teeth. "I need to talk to all of you. I know I've made a mistake—"

"What, you can't face this like the strong woman you always claimed to be? Yes, you DID make a mistake. A BIG mistake. You ruined our lives. You broke Cassandra July."

_Ruined our lives. Broke Cassandra July._

Shelby's heart shattered into a million pieces and she bit her cheek. "Please, Holly. Let me just talk to her…"

"Why don't you just leave us alone? Coming to Rachel's school? How low do you plan to stoop?"

The students of the music class watched with wide eyes as their hot new music teacher was bitched out by a protective blonde. No one quite knew what was going on, but most of them agreed it was more interesting than listening to a lecture on music theory.

Just when they thought it couldn't get any better, things got more dramatic. A new blonde figure stood at the doorway, her eyes glassy and wide, her arms crossed over her chest. "Shelby," she choked out, her voice breaking slightly.

. . .

"Why did we have to move here again?" Sophie groaned as she finished unpacking yet another box in the kitchen. Garrett gave a small smirk.

"Because your mother is in love, and she wants Cassandra back."

"I don't understand why she didn't just stay with Cassandra, if she loved her so much," Sophie muttered bitterly, sitting down at the kitchen table after getting a glass of water. A moment later and her father joined her, biting his lip. To avoid answering her question, he thought carefully about a response.

"Don't talk like that, Soph. She chose us over them. She loves you. She loves you so much."

"I'm not saying she doesn't love me…" Sophie played with the sleeve on her one-of-a-kind sweater. Sewing was sort of a passion of hers. "I'm just saying that maybe she loves her other daughter more."

Garrett shook his head at Sophie's attitude. If only she understood what Shelby had been through…and if only she understood why Shelby made the decisions she did. But she couldn't know. Not yet. He had made a promise to Shelby and he was going to keep it. It was the only thing that had kept her, for all this time.

"She misses them, Sophie. She can't just stay with us anymore. She needs to learn how to have both. She's aching…"

With a scowl and a disbelieving state of mind, Sophie stood back up and paced the kitchen. "When is she coming home from work? I thought we were all going out to dinner to celebrate…"

Garrett took a quick glance at his watch and shrugged, wondering the same thing. "She should have been home by now. Maybe she had to talk with the principal or something—you know, a first day report like she had to do at that other school…"

"The one she just left or the one before that?"

Garrett did a back track in his mind before saying, "The last one…I think."

The truth was they had moved around a lot. Shelby was always in need of a distraction from New York and Cassandra and Rachel. They had already moved to and lived in 10 of the 50 states in the past eight years, but this was the first time they had ever come back to New York, which made Sophie think that Shelby was serious about things this time. Her mother had spent a lot of time on the drive there talking to herself under her breath and looking like she was trying not to cry. Sophie had already started counting how many days they had been in New York—it was something she did every time they moved. They never lived anywhere for very long.

With a sigh, Sophie unlocked her phone and texted Shelby a message,

"Where are u? We can't celebrate a new job without a new employee you know…"

She didn't get a response. She sighed and leaned against the counter again.

Maybe Cassandra WAS more important.

. . .

Shelby had somehow managed to convince Cassandra to talk to her in a separate room. It helped that Cassandra wanted to be alone with Shelby.

That concept frightened both of them. Alone for the first time in eight years. It had been such a long time…and there was so much to say, yet nothing. Shelby stood, her heart pounding, in front of her long ago lover. Cassandra's eyes watered with tears she refused to let fall—her arms still crossed in front of her. She hated being vulnerable and it was all Shelby ever made her. Shelby could relate to the feeling.

"Cassie," Shelby finally whispered and Cassandra tried with all of her might to be angry. God did she try…but that voice, and the way her name sounded on Shelby's lips. She brought back so many good memories…Cassandra mentally smacked herself. Bad memories resurfaced as well.

_She left you. She left you. She's going to leave again. Don't let her get to you. She doesn't really love you. She can't have really loved you._

"Shelby," Cassandra managed to say again. It made Shelby's walls break down almost immediately, to hear Cassandra say her name again.

"Baby," Shelby was surprised to feel her own tears streaming down her face. She hadn't even been able to cry in front of Cass the night she left—but now, all of her regret and misery and depression and pain; everything she had missed, and everything she had wanted, and all of her emotions came pouring out of her. "I'm so very sorry. I had no choice and I know that's not an excuse and I promise to explain everything if you give me the chance to…I've missed you so much, Cassie and I love you so much—I never stopped loving you. All I've wanted these past eight years was to have you back. I regretted leaving the minute I walked out the door…" she was talking so fast that Cassandra had to slow the conversation down in her mind to understand it all.

She had no choice? There was obviously a lot that Shelby wasn't telling her, and that was something she had a choice about. But Cassandra watched, her mind arguing with itself. Shelby was torn apart—something Shelby Corcoran never was. For god's sake she didn't even cry when Rachel was born. But she was bawling her eyes out in front of Cassandra and she was apologizing profusely and taking the blame. Her sweet musical voice sounded like broken bells in Cassandra's ears, and the blonde hated herself for what she was about to do. She knew it would only cause her more pain. But sweet Jesus she missed and loved Shelby so much…and if she wanted the chance to explain herself…

"Okay," Cass said weakly. "You're right, we do need to talk." She was having a hard time forming coherent sentences in front of Shelby. Her heart was fluttering, her stomach was tied into knots and she felt like if she didn't get a drink of alcohol in some way sometime soon she was going to explode and die. Her head throbbed and her mind spun.

"…When?"

Shelby closed her eyes, unsure how to respond. Cassandra was actually going to give her a chance? So easily? She scolded herself and told herself not to get too far ahead of things. "Tomorrow night?" she asked softly. "I can send Garrett and Sophie out for a while…"

"Or you could come back home," Cass's voice lowered to a whisper. Out of impulse, because her lips had been practically buzzing with need and because she wasn't sure how long all of this was going to last, Cassandra gave Shelby a lasting kiss on her cheek before walking out the door.


End file.
